Each month Brian Baumal offers us opportunities to look at ourselves in new ways

A Lesson in Responsibility

I’ve recently come across a number of individuals all encountering a similar problem. A person’s spouse or partner says something like, “I don’t care if my behaviour bothers you, I’m not responsible for how you feel.” This is really like saying “get over yourself,” and unfortunately, this kind of thinking puts a lot of strain on a relationship for both people.

An analogy may serve well. Say your partner is confined to a wheelchair. It is highly unlikely that food and other necessities would be stored too high or out of reach. That is, we can’t really picture saying to someone in a wheelchair, “Get over it, I’m not responsible for your limitations. The food stays where it is.” Instead, a couple works together to come up with a compromise. However, for some reason it seems to be more acceptable to shun responsibility for a partner’s feelings, especially if a partner is highly sensitive by nature, suffers from depression, or has deep-seated fears. The truth is, though, that there is really no difference between someone with a physical limitation or an emotional one. In situations like this, it is always the responsibility of both people to change. In the wheelchair example, the partner who is fully mobile likely has to change his or her habits to meet the limitations of the partner.

What is being missed by both partners is the concept of interdependence, where both people in a relationship intrinsically impact each other. While each person in a relationship does indeed have to look after him or herself, there is an equal responsibility to look after and contribute to the growth of the other person. Another way of looking at this, besides assigning responsibility for the feelings of another, is the fact that both people in a relationship are equally responsible for its health and overall quality.

Viewed this way, it is the responsibility of both to change. It is all too easy to say that a person with the more visible or chronic emotional issue must be the one to engage in personal development or change. However, the other partner must begin to realize that they are living with someone who has an emotional issue and begin to take responsibility for the relationship.

This brings up a model which is eloquently elaborated upon by Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He says that people start off as babies and children, dependent on others. As we mature, we are encouraged to be independent. For many people, the model stops there; society irrationally praises “strong, independent, do-it-yourselfers.” However, as Covey points out, the third stage is “interdependence”; this is the most difficult stage of development. In realizing that our behaviour impacts others, we need to learn responsibility. For effect, therapists often break up the word into “response-ability” — that is, when we realize that we are interdependent, it is our ability to respond to a situation that makes a real impact.

Empathy, compassion, and a strong sense of self are the hallmarks of interdependence. When we develop these traits in ourselves, we cannot help but become more responsive to those around us. Thus, in dealing with a partner who may have a particular emotional issue, we can see things from their side. That kind of response-ability keeps the door open for further communication and negotiation among both sides. Placing the responsibility totally onto one partner will never do a relationship any good. When both partners see their interdependence, solutions to any kind of problem seem to come more easily and do not seem as burdensome — and that’s good news!

Brian Baumal is a psychotherapist with a private practice in Leslieville. His website is www.TorontoTherapySite.com

This is a monthly column by Dr. Zahra Bardai in which she guides our path to well-being

It’s the wee hours of the morning, and I’m sitting behind my desk feeling paralyzed by the millions of things that I still have to do. I’m tying up loose ends at work and at home while simultaneously trying to pack my family for our upcoming vacation. A vacation that’s sorely needed. We’re just hours from taking off and I should be shivering with anticipation, but frankly the prep to get us all out the door seems almost more trouble than it’s worth. I’m exhausted and despite being on the cusp of heading out for some sun and sand, I’d give my eyeteeth out for the comfort of a hot cuppa and my bed.  

What I’m talking about here is BURNOUT! By definition, it’s the experience of longstanding physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion as well as a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities. In today’s demanding world, the vast majority of us will live through these symptoms at least once.  

Burnout usually starts off as a decline in mental energy, but quickly manifests itself as physical symptoms. The build up of stress creates the sensation of being utterly worn down, which further increases our susceptibility to illness. 

What does this mean? To begin with, it means that those who experience burnout feel that most days nothing can go right. It also means that every activity is an effort, and energy levels fall way below normal. Burnout insinuates its effects on all spheres of life and leads to the sensation of being completely overwhelmed — like nothing you do will change or make any difference to your situation. 

So how do we protect ourselves? Part of the solution lies in recognizing the signs: excessive fatigue, disengagement, blunted emotions, loss of motivation, and detachment. In practical terms it means that more time is spent away from others, tasks take longer to complete, and frustrations may seem to be insurmountable. 

The good news is that there are ways of preventing burnout. First and foremost, prioritize personal well being. Start the day with a practice that addresses your needs. This could mean meditating, reading, or exercising. Next, try to make a habit of eating healthy and regularly, as well as making sure that you get enough restorative sleep and exercise. Most importantly, set boundaries that help you respect your time and your worth. Give yourself permission to slow life down. This means nurturing creative interests, learning to manage stress, tapping into all your resources to get help, and setting limits for yourself and others to ensure that you continue to respect your mind and body. While a vacation can give you a much-needed break, there’s nothing more rejuvenating than realigning your needs and learning to put yourself first!

Zahra Bardai is a family physician If you have any questions about her topic of the month please e-mail her at life@goodnewstoronto.ca

Each month Azraa Janmohamed discusses timely topics relevant to teens

Body World: The Story of Heroes

Whether you went with your school or family, watched a commercial, or even saw a flyer lying on the sidewalk, most of us have heard of the Body Worlds exhibition at the Ontario Science Center. Over 28 million people in 50 cities across the world have visited this magnificent exhibit, a fascinating combination of plastinated human bodies, translucent body slices, interactive stations and informative videos that helps to bring scientific facts about the body alive to each visitor.

The intricacy and attention to detail that is paid to every one of the stations is obvious. It is especially seen in the exhibit where the shape of the human body is conveyed solely through the arteries and veins. Other enthralling exhibits include the plastinated human beings throwing a javelin, balancing on a balance beam, or hanging upside down. They allow the visitors to appreciate the muscles that are used in each of these activities through a visual and physically compelling manner. Furthermore, Body Worlds includes visually informative pieces like the comparison between smokers and non-smokers lungs, and a diseased heart compared to an athlete’s heart and a normal heart.

The interactive and video components are just as captivating as the plastinated human bodies and organs. The interactive activities allow visitors to touch and examine plastinated human body parts such as the liver and the heart. The videos and audio components that accompany the stations within Body World help to teach lessons, such as how the heart beats, in concise yet informative ways. These additional activities teach students about our bodies in a way that no PowerPoint presentation or textbook can.

Supplementing these components of Body World are the many pictures and quotes lining the walls that show different perspectives on life and our bodies. Among these pieces, there is a sign asking if people, after viewing the exhibit, would want to donate their bodies to Body World when they passed away. This sign caught my eye, and really got me thinking. Should people donate their bodies to exhibits such as Body World so that they can be used for the education of the general public? Or is there a better use for your body and organs when you can no longer use them, like organ donation?

Personally, I feel that anyone who either donates their body for the education of others or to save someone’s life is a personal hero to me because it shows that they will do anything they can, even when they are no longer alive, to help someone else. Putting a stranger before themselves is a quality that I would definitely describe as heroic. Yet, if I had the option, I would choose organ donation for two main reasons. Firstly, the rates of people needing organs are increasing faster than the lists of potential organ donors are filling up, and a life is something that cannot be replaced. This brings me to my second point: although the use of real human bodies in the exhibits (especially ones similar to the javelin thrower) is fascinating for the viewers, it is not necessary for our education. Instead of using real humans to teach people at Body Worlds, they could easily use plastic bodies. In today’s technologically advanced society, this would be much easier and just as realistic-looking as the present exhibits are. However, if my organs could not be used for organ donation, then I would definitely donate them to an exhibit such as Body World for the education of others.

Body World is a captivating and informative exhibition that interacts with viewers, even after they walk out the doors.

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POLL:

Last month we asked you if you thought that Harry Jerome, the renowned and respected Canadian athlete, was a good role model. Well the results are in, and 75% of you believed that he was a good role model!

This month, we want to know if you would rather donate your body to an exhibit such as Body World for the education of other or donate your organs to help save lives through organ donation. Email your answers to info@goodnewstoronto.ca and stay tuned for the results next month!

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Azraa Janmohamed is a Grade 10 student attending high school in Toronto To respond to Azraa please e-mail her at info@goodnewstoronto.ca

In this monthly column Marlon Teekah focuses on various aspects of fitness and answers questions you might have in order to encourage you to be your best in body, mind, and spirit.

Four Steps to an Olympic Body

Last month, thousands of the world’s best winter athletes competed for Olympic glory during the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. Hidden deep below their winter jackets and long pants lie their Olympic physiques, consisting of muscled legs, arms, chest, back, and washboard stomachs. The average Canadian may not be competing at the Winter Olympics, but they can achieve their own Olympic Body by following these four key steps.

Step 1: Determine Your Body Type
The first step to achieving an Olympic body is to determine the type of body one naturally has. There are three body types. Be aware that most people are a combination of body types. Ectomorphs are lean, lightweight, and perform best at distance sports requiring muscle endurance. Conversely, endomorphs are usually heavier athletes who naturally carry more body fat and perform best in sports requiring power and body weight force. Finally, mesomorphs are naturally muscular, have low body fat, and excel in sports requiring strength and power.

Step 2: Determine the “What”
Gold medals aren’t won by chance, so you shouldn’t expect to achieve the body you want without creating goals. Do you want to decrease body fat or increase muscle mass? By how much? When? Whatever your goals may be, ensure that you follow the S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Timely) method of goal-setting and write them down. After establishing the “What,” you can determine the “How” (outlined below).

Step 3: Train regularly and consistently
In order to develop the body that most Olympians have, you’ll need to perform resistance training three to four times per week. If your goal is to increase muscle mass, perform 8-12 repetitions for 3-4 sets with 45-90 seconds of rest in between each set and 6-8 exercises in total. If you prefer to decrease body fat, perform 12-15 repetitions with the same number of sets and exercises, but with less than 45 seconds of rest in between each set. This may seem like a lot, but should take approximately 60 minutes or less if you are following the above rest times.

Step 4: Change it up
Stop performing exercises that use machines and benches, such as the Seated Bicep Curl machine, and start to do exercises that use dumbbells, physio balls (the big round balls you may have seen in the gym), or BOSU balls. Exercises that use these, such as a Physio-ball Dumbbell Chest Press, help to work your main muscles, but also work all of the stabilizer muscles (such as your abs). The result is that you are being more efficient when you’re in the gym.

Also, try to perform Interval Training, where you cycle between a high and low intensity for a shorter period of time. For example, run, bike, or glide on the elliptical for one minute at level 10, followed by two minutes at level 6, then one minute at level 10, and so on for a total of 25 minutes. This style of training will allow you to burn more calories in 48 hrs after exercise than “traditional” forms of cardio that use one speed (e.g. level 7) for a prolonged period of time (e.g. 45 minutes).

Good luck on your pursuit to an Olympic body!

DISCLAIMER: The information provided in this article is recommended for the general population who are physically able to exercise. To determine if exercise is appropriate for you, please consult your physician before trying anything offered in this column or exercise in general. Marlon Teekah and Good News Toronto are not liable for your safety.

Marlon Teekah is a Certified Personal Trainer and Personal Fitness Coach at Marlon Teekah: Dynamic Fitness Training. If you have any questions or comments, you can e-mail Marlon at fitness@goodnewstoronto.ca or visit him online at www.marlonteekah.com.

In this monthly series Winnie Czulinski will feature Torontonians who are going above and beyond to help increase computer safety, awareness and assistance

The Language of Community    

Oliver Zielke helping two young girls from a small village in southern India

Oliver Zielke’s workplace, in the historic 401 Richmond Street West building downtown, reflects worlds far beyond this city. As executive director of Web Community Resource Networks, a social enterprise and internet pioneer outfit founded in 1986 by environmental activists, Oliver helps provide technologies to promote the aims of organizations, social justice, and learning. And that may be in the Arctic, the Sudan, Central America, India, or Toronto/Canada.

“I love to take on ‘Quixotic’ challenges — solving illiteracy, saving endangered languages, operating a social enterprise in the tech sector — and obsessively build solutions to address them. I’m a person driven by obsessions.”

With a background in education, philosophy, religious studies, and counselling, Oliver has worked for many community concerns. Since 1997 he’s been with Web Networks, which builds websites, owns its own website and email servers, and provides content management systems for diverse clients in areas ranging from human rights to the environment.

Web Networks also developed Yodigo, a unique online video game that teaches reading and writing. Spanish for “I speak,” Yodigo — accessed via broadband internet or from a DVD/CD — is designed to help deliver literacy in the most difficult conditions. And by providing a steady stream of entertainment and incentives, the Yodigo system is enjoyable for users.

“They’re really motivated,” says Oliver. “And by following a story every step of the way as well as getting points they can trade in for rewards, they’re going to learn to read and write — and it’s not going to be a struggle.”

Oliver also is committed to how technology can help keep alive the language of a culture. Web Networks has partnered with the Pirurvik Centre (www.pirurvik.ca) in Nunavut, a region with many cultural pressures and a high youth suicide rate, to develop and deliver internet publishing tools supporting the indigenous Inuktitut language. Including a content management system that lets native speakers write and work online in their Inuit language, attavik.net can also be used for other syllabic languages like Cree and Korean. 

Another Web Networks/Pirurvik Centre project, Tusaalanga, which received the Council of Federation Literacy Award, is an online resource for students learning Inuktitut.

“Being in the North had a profound impact of my sense of what Canada represents, and who I was as a Canadian,” says Oliver. “The current tragedy of Nunavut and Inuit in Nunavut motivates my work, particularly Yodigo.”

Oliver spent a year on sabbatical in India and southeast Asia, introducing Yodigo. “The response was just overwhelming. It was like bringing water to really thirsty people.”

An excerpt from his journal in India reads, “I witness that extraordinary process of a child actually learning, in real time, here, in front of me […] and his laughing and obvious enjoyment because after all, Yodigo is a game, this is play, and play is fun and entertaining […] He would never stop, just sit and learn all day, every day, if he had the opportunity, I’m convinced.”

Oliver and Web Networks also are working with the Language Commissioner of Nunavut to provide Yodigo to Inuit across the territory. As well, the interactive literacy system will be introduced into a school in Guatemala.

“The most overwhelming feeling I have is for the children and their earnest hope to develop.”

In helping diverse cultures, kids, and community groups with linguistic, literacy, and other technology tools, Oliver’s involvement in Web Networks is the ultimate for a man who’s spent 30 years working in the non-profit sector.                

“I came to the tech world with an interest in community development,” he says. “It’s what Web is about — community.” www.web.net

Winnie Czulinski is a Toronto-based freelance writer and radio personality

Each month Jennifer Hicks and Paul Kralik regale us with a different perspective on current issues.

“Hey Paul, Why can’t I get online?” Sighing, I remind him, “This keeps happening, and I’m getting pretty tired of it.” 

I’m frustrated because in order to run my Speech-Language Pathology and Nia businesses, I need to have access to the internet.

He’s irritated too. “Ah jeez, I’m in the middle of helping my clients close their house. This is not good timing and they are really testing my patience. I’ll give our internet service provider a call.” 

After 30 minutes on the phone and a battle of wits and patience, Paul reports, “They have disconnected our internet access. It will be down for seven days.”

“You must be kidding!”

“Nope,” Paul shrugs. “It’s our ‘punishment’ (their words, not mine) for unknowingly having a virus on one of our computers.”

Now my voice starts to get louder. “WHAT?!?!? They can’t do that!”

“Wait a second, Jenn, just listen. It’s really inconvenient for us, yes, but an active virus impacts their entire network. So they’re giving us a week to run virus scans and get debugged if necessary. We’ll manage.”

“I don’t know about that. I already feel symptoms of IWS coming on.”

Confused, Paul says, “IWS?”

“Internet Withdrawal Syndrome. I’m going to phone them right now and cancel our services!” I shout in frustration. I stop and look at my right hand. “Oh. Did you see that?”

“What?”

“I just had an episode of ‘phantom internet pain.’ Weird. It was a flash of searing pain that caused my hand to jerk like I was moving my mouse to sign in to my email.”

“Very funny. Why don’t you watch a movie to distract yourself,” Paul suggests.

“But I need to advertise my new class on Facebook. And I have to email my sister. And I need to post on my blog. I’m feeling a little isolated and lost without internet access.”

Paul reminds me, “You know, you could pick up the phone and call your sister. You both have phones.”

“That’s not the point. I don’t like the feeling of being penalized for something I have very little control over. Besides, even if I called my sister, she wouldn’t answer, because she’s online!”

Paul thinks for a moment.

“You know what? Over the years we’ve both developed a habit of sitting in front of a computer screen for hours at a time. It’s our entertainment and our source of social stimulation. Now that we don’t have internet access, it’s making me realize how much it has made us favour the electronic world over the real world. It’s crazy. We have become so dependent on the internet and now that it’s gone, we’re lost.”

“Are you saying I’m addicted to my computer?”

“Not at all. Just think about it this way. The modem is a modern-day version of the ‘idiot box.’ We can use it to become smarter, yes, but we don’t need to focus our whole lives around the internet. We didn’t have it when we were growing up and we seem to have turned out just fine.”

“Good point,” I say. “Hey, where’s our Scrabble board? We used to play that all the time.  Loser makes dinner.”

“You’re on.” Paul rubs his belly and smacks his lips. “I’m looking forward to the steak dinner you’ll be making!”

Paul Kralik is a Secondary School Teacher at Northern Secondary andJennifer Hicks is a Speech-Language Pathologist and Brown Belt Nia Instructor.

 

In this Q and A column, Communications Coach Vera Held explores with Good News Toronto readers important aspects of courage that surface in our personal and professional lives.  

Q: My boss, the head of IT, was on sick leave for four months. To help our department, the VP hired a polished professional, “Pamela,” who has put some excellent long-term processes in place. I’m the 23-year old executive assistant in the department, and I’ve learned much from Pamela, who has taken the time to mentor me. Here’s my concern.  How do I go back to working for my old boss? I now know that she does not have all the skills and knowledge that she needs to have to do her job well.

A: You’ve benefited by working with a seasoned, confident, and generous professional these last four months. I recommend that you continue to show your departmental VP and your boss, once she returns, exactly what you know and what you can do with what you know. Now is the time to carve out a new niche for yourself and perhaps to have your job description rewritten. However, if there is no room for growth in your particular department, you could consider an internal transfer. Competent professionals are highly valued and their skill sets adapted to meet the growing needs of their organizations. It takes courage to shine. Be your best you.   

Q: Our organization has been without a Marketing Manager for several months and this has created chaos. “Jill,” the head of Customer Service, wants to move up the ranks and is trying to position herself as our boss. My colleagues and I, who are all scientists and who sell expensive scientific equipment, are frustrated beyond words. Jill has created a really bad atmosphere in the office and constantly diminishes our work and our efforts. In the interim, the sales and marketing team reports to the General Manager. What’s my next step?      

A: Voice your concerns with your colleagues in a live meet with the General Manager. It appears the head of Customer Service has her own agenda; however, her boundaries, that is, what she can and can’t do, and a clear reporting structure in the absence of the Marketing Manager must be made clear by the GM. Also, ask your GM to put a rush priority on the outstanding hire of the marketing manager. It takes courage to lead and to rally a team. Good luck.      

Q:  My wife, two children, and I immigrated to Toronto from Albania several years ago. My wife went to school here and has a good job as a bank teller. The problem is, despite the courses that she has been sent on, she hasn’t been promoted. She is waiting for her boss to speak to her but it’s been many months now and that hasn’t happened.      

A: Your wife cannot afford to be shy. In Canada, people come forward to speak to their merit, skills, and to lay out a clear career path with their bosses. Her confidence, directness, and desire to be in charge of her career will be seen as a positive. In this conversation with her boss, and whoever else is invited to the meeting, she needs to speak to her career goals, future courses she wishes to pursue, and prepare a starter 5-year plan for making the greatest contribution to her employer. Above all, she must come to the meet with enthusiasm and the very best of goodwill. Attitude is essential in job promotion. It takes courage to pursue your dream; support your wife at every turn.  

Please forward queries on tough personal and professional situations to Vera at courage@goodnewstoronto.ca

Vera Held, M.Ed., is a coach, facilitator, speaker, writer, PR consultant and the author of How Not to Take it Personally www.veraheld.com

In this monthly column Dr. Martin Kijazi will discuss how we can be active participants in creating a healthy environment.

Green Incentives for Green Consumers

From previous columns, you learned how to reduce your environmental footprint while at home, at work, eating, or travelling. You also realized that our environmental footprint results largely from consumption. The production and consumption of many commodities generate greenhouse gases and other pollutants, which contribute to the global climate change, urban smog, and acid rain. But there is a flipside: given green incentives by governments and businesses, we can use our consumer power to create a greener marketplace by switching from polluting products to greener products. Product certification and eco-labeling, which reward a premium price or increased market share to greener products, are also crucial.

There are already some green incentives and product choices.

Energy consumption creates a great environmental footprint. If you want to save energy and money as well as help the environment, look for the Energy Star logo (see image above), which helps consumers identify products that operate at premium levels of energy efficiency without sacrificing quality for high performance. There are already many energy-saving models of general appliances, heating, cooling, ventilation, and lighting products, electronics, office equipment, windows, doors, etc. Learn more at:http://oee.nrcan.gc.ca/residential/consumer-info.cfm?attr=0

There are various incentives to help consumers switch to Energy Star and other greener products. The “Cool Savings Rebate” program can help you replace your old central air conditioning or heating systems with Energy Star qualified models. The $25- to $400-rebates are available for residents and businesses (with residential-type systems) of Ontario who purchase and install their new central heating or cooling equipment through a participating contractor.

“Ontario Home Energy Savings Program” will help pay for a Home Energy Audit that will find your home’s energy leaks and identify renovations you can make to lower your energy bills and environmental footprint. You could qualify for up to $10,000 in Ontario and federal rebates to replace your energy-guzzling old furnace, improve your insulation, change drafty windows and doors, and complete other retrofits suggested in your audit report. “Toronto’s WaterSaver” program provides solutions and rebates to reduce water use, save money, and meet Toronto’s goal of 15% reduction of water use by 2011. To learn about these and other green incentives visit: http://oee.nrcan.gc.ca/corporate/incentives.cfm?attr=12

Vehicles are also major pollutants emitters. The “Car Heaven” program of the clean-air foundation can help you accelerate the retirement of your older, higher-polluting vehicles, and shift to cleaner alternatives. You receive a free tow of your 1995-or-older vehicle, a charitable tax receipt, the guarantee that your old vehicle will be recycled in an environmentally responsible manner, and other rewards [http://www.carheaven.ca/]. “Retire Your Ride” is a similar program delivered nationally by Summerhill Impact & its partners, with Government of Canada funding [www.retireyourride.ca].

“Keep Cool” program encourages Ontarians to permanently retire and recycle their old, inefficient room air conditioners and dehumidifiers and adopt cleaner, more efficient alternatives. You can receive up to a $25 gift card and free, environmentally responsible recycling services for bringing in your old devices. “Mow Down Pollution” offers instant rebates to purchase zero- or low-emission alternatives to older gas-powered lawn mowers, which, according to Summerhill Impact website, if “run for 1 hour, puts out as much smog-forming emissions as 40 new cars run for an hour”! You get free recycling services, and a significant discount to purchase environmentally preferable alternatives. To learn about these and other programs visit, http://www.summerhillgroup.ca/eng/impact/impact-programs.php.

I encourage you to take advantage of the existing green incentives and products. Strive to become a well-informed consumer, then exercise your market power by rewarding greener producers — in the process you will reward yourself and the environment.

Dr. Martin Kijazi is an Environment Researcher & Educator, currently working for the University of Toronto. He is also actively engaged in environmental activism and advocacy.

In this monthly column Etta Kaner will share some of her favourite children’s books written for a variety of ages on the theme of friendship.

Dear Reader,

Recently, I have had the pleasure of reading two books, written for children ages three to seven years old, that contain themes of cooperation, conflict resolution, and contentment with oneself. While these can be weighty subjects for the younger set, neither of these books is didactic. They are both a lot of fun, provide much material for discussion, and are perfect for participation from the emergent reader. Both books are published by Kids Can Press.

Me and You, written and illustrated by Geneviève Coté, is a conversation between two friends, a rabbit and a pig. Each wishes to be like the other, and their attempts at makeovers to look like the other have humorous results. Even though the sentences are simple and direct, Côté makes nice use of similes, e.g. “my tail would be as curly as a lemon twist.” The patterned sentences are ideal for encouraging your child to participate in reading the book, and the rhyming couplets on two spreads can be used to develop the important skill of rhyming.

Illustration by Ashley Nitkin

The Delicious Bug by author/illustrator Janet Perlman is set in a forest. The main characters, a tomato frog and two chameleons, are good friends. However, when the two chameleons happen to catch a bumblebug at the same time, chaos ensues. Neither of them wants to relinquish the bug. They argue, call each other names (which are quite amusing), and start to fight. When they lose the bug and find themselves in danger, they save themselves through teamwork and eventually realize how foolish they had been. While the book is a wonderful springboard for discussion about peaceful conflict resolution, it also demonstrates how fighting between two individuals can negatively affect the people around you.

The story is told by a narrator as well as through speech bubbles that can be read by your child as you read the main text. While this is a delightful picture book for young children (with a clever design reminiscent of a filmstrip in its sidebars), Perlman is not afraid to use rich vocabulary. Words like “annoyed,” “sputtered,” “ferociously,” “whirlwind,” and “frantically” enhance the story and enrich your child’s vocabulary but are also easily understood due to the context and illustrations. A bonus feature of this book is the discussion ideas and extension activities which can be found on the Kids Can Press website.

Happy reading!

Etta Kaner is a teacher and a children’s author.

5 WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR JOB SECURITY!

1. Be a Positive Employee, Not a Complainer—Practice the art of being positive or saying nothing instead of complaining. Complaining is a contagious illness that spreads like wildfire but you do not have to catch it.
   
   
2. Improve on Your Areas of Weakness—If you know what your weaknesses are, ask for tips as to how you can improve in those areas, and then work hard on improving…this will increase your job security. Measure your progress and be patient to see it.
   
   
3. Ask Your Manager How You Can Improve—If you are unsure of your weaknesses or how you can improve, ask your manager. This act only helps you if you actually improve in the areas your manager points out….requesting a “preliminary review” of this sort will allow you to improve in advance of your regular review, making your results in that review better, perhaps making it easier for you to get a raise or to get a bigger raise, or at least increasing your job security!
   
   
4. Be an Encourager—Bring out the best in other employees by being an encourager and complimenting employees when they do a good job. This will win you friends who will help you when you need it….but that will only happen if you do it genuinely. It will eventually be apparent if you have an ulterior motive and you are just giving to get something in return.
   
   
5. Ask Yourself “What Would Happen if I Left?”—Would you be missed? Work towards contributing so much that your answer is, “They would not be able to replace me,” or “They would not know how to do x, y, and z without me.” What extra project can you do to make yourself more valuable?

 

Jason Humphreys Kinte is a life strategist, business consultant, inspirational speaker, and president of Phree Shares Inc. (www.phreeshares.com) and Toronto Poets (www.torontopoets.com). He can be reached at jasonkinte@phreeshares.com