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How I Transformed My Life

How I Transformed My Life

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My life today is so blessed with happiness and love. I can actually say that I like myself! I believe in myself and I feel confident in the decisions that I make. Now, it wasn’t always this way. I used to give my power away to the people around me. I thought that by catering to others’ needs, I would be happy. The truth is that there was no one in my life that had a greater influence over me than I did. My big “Aha!” moment came when I finally realized that what I was saying to myself was having a huge impact on how I felt about myself. My negativity was destroying me.

I grew up in a home where little girls never got angry. I had to either be “nice” or be disliked. I was very critical of myself. As I was growing up, I felt misunderstood and angry. I attracted relationships where I felt helpless and hopeless. I was always playing the role of victim and martyr. I would give my time to others, thinking that one day a miracle would happen and they would suddenly treat me with love and respect. Instead I was miserable and unhappy.

After reading about affirmations, I decided to trade my negative thoughts for positive ones. I made a conscious decision to notice what I was saying to myself. Implementing this new behaviour took time, but it was well worth the effort. I started feeling good about myself instead of always feeling negative.

No matter what anyone told me, I found ways to think and talk positively all the time, especially when I caught myself thinking negative thoughts or saying negative things. Here are some ways that I used to help myself implement these new changes:

1. Reversing my negative thoughts. When I found myself thinking or talking negatively, I would reword, reverse, or rephrase the words from negative to positive right away. For example, if I found myself doing the “what if” scenario, I would turn it into “I am going to.”

2. Association with other positive people. By being around people who were positive, I had a much easier time changing my way of thinking and talking about myself.

3. Trusting myself. I started trusting that little voice inside of myself. I started to make decisions based on what I really wanted, instead of always listening to others. This caused me to believe in myself and increased my confidence.

4. Writing in a Gratitude Journal. Every day, I would write everything that I was grateful for. The more I wrote, the more things I found that I had to be grateful for.

5. Positive affirmations. Affirmations were easy to implement in my daily life. They acted like seeds in my cells and in my heart. The more I said them, the bigger they grew.

The more I increased the value I gave myself, the more respect I received. I was completely committed to helping myself. I was focused and it paid off enormously. I am so grateful today for my confidence and happiness. As my self esteem grew, my relationships got better, I slept better, and everything in my life became blessed with this newfound positive energy. And the best part of my transformational journey is the role model that I am able to be today for my five children!

Fatima Fatima Omar Khamissa is a motivational speaker who helps women find their voices so they can live their truth. Her website is

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